...Confusing Certainties... Moronic Ingenuity...

 In times like this when I simply want to hide for no particular reason, I find their music comforting. Their renditions of the rock songs featured in this album are totally relaxing with no attempt to sound like anyone else but their own musically rich selves… APO is my favorite. 

If after reading this you feel that a part of your precious time has been stolen from you, blame Iveca. She made me cry with a txt message. 

Kinda late to say this but yes, I’m already done with undergrad life. (I like the term “undergrad”. Makes me look forward to my next level of education.)

Though all I feel is emptiness if not fear, I’m still glad that I spent a few moments of my graduation day with Ate Papul. Thank you for helping my parents go through the perks of having me as a daughter. haha. Thank you for the most beautiful dangling earrings to ever hang on my piercings. I love them. I love you. I just want to remind you that no matter what, I’m always here for you. 

Sir Francis, you being there as our big bro/tatay for so many times means so much to me. I may have not been a good friend to you but you will always be in my heart. 

Kate, wala lang. Though we’re batchmates, I didn’t really get to know you well in school. Only during gleeorious bonding moments did I get to have heart to heart talks with you which made me see you beyond your pretty face, strong personality and goddess-like voice. When I think of Iloilo, I’d still remember you. And I when I think of jamming, you’re performance will always be my benchmark.

Uno, thank you for the birthday libre with Ate Papul that now appears to be our last bonding. Sorry for the hassle of having me leech on you. Hahaha. For the cheezy jokes and gross ideas, I will remember you as the kindest yet weirdest friend I had. Sorry for not saying goodbye. God Bless sa next stint mo. 

Iveca… wahahah. friend, I still have a lot of unfinished businesses with you so I don’t really feel like saying goodbye. It’s like having you around to help me with outfits (whether you have to be the one to sew them or to look for a seamstress), to watch feel-good crazy movies with, to go through hormonal fluctuations together, to bully, to reprimand me, to be kilig with the thought of KIM SOO HYUN, to tambay with, or drink coffee with, has become part of a natural system that imagining life without you has become painful. But maybe this really is goodbye.. haha. Thank you is not enough to express how amazing it is to have you in my life… B*ka*e Star, I haven’t thanked you enough. Wala man lang ta ka-last final wild bonding. aaaargh…

*can’t type anymore

I miss my brother so much. I have been reminiscing his “baby” days and how much he loved me. There is nothing like having someone to brag about having you as a sister. (I just copied this photo from somewhere. he really reminds me of my bro.)

. 

I bragged about how musically inclined my family is. I am proud, regretful and sad and angry and lacking. Good luck swirling vortex of entropy. 
 

I don’t understand how people can manage to hurt or embarrass  a child. that sucks. I hate that. 

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/failing-student-wears-sign-as-punishment-28585171.html

Ooops, now the  title is a lie. I am crying once again.

Since I am allergic to sleeping early and I vowed not cause anymore fb stir, here I am. 

As much as I hate it, I am a person with so much pride who refuses to bow before anyone not worth the stiff neck. The standard of that worth is determined by my rationality, a word which I am not the epitome of. But still some people manage to reach that standard in fact, go beyond what I expect. This story began almost two years ago.

But I am not about to share the journey which entailed sacrifices but held blessings, learning and joy as consequences. This is suppose to express how much my life would be such a void if I hadn’t made that decision almost tow years ago. Two years. and I have never been better. 

One significant fruit of that  journey is that it instilled in me that certain level of rationality to discern that I would never again bow down to any person who speaks ill of arrogance, but is actually its epitome. 

…

It was just temporary stupidity, I know. Lately, I have decided happiness and hormonal levels are nothing but one sphere. The pursuit of feeling alright, hyped up or maybe awesome has a secret and it is nothing like philosophers spoke about. As the sum of various parts which are, in themselves sums of even smaller parts (and so on), the most that we can do is wait for the cycle to go back to its crest and then through again. Or we have a choice: to regulate it. However this proved to be difficult if not impossible. 

The irony: right now, I wanna cry. Yeap, the part of the cycle where you feel like crap (and i am not talking about female stuff) because you will never, ever be enough. And the sight of him makes me regret being myself.  

The third installment in my series of weird dreams came last night. It was that of a surgical operation conducted by someone other than a doctor. Do I really have a problem?

Some things in our lives simply bring perks. Almost two years ago, i entered into a contract I never thought I will take to the heart. And last January 29, I once again had a taste of the benefits of my contractual bliss! :D  

Gladly eaten all of them!!!

For two nights now, I’ve been having bad dreams- morbid ones. I ignored the first one which involved massacre in a wokplace where only a few of us survived. It ended with their family’s trying to get them home. Mine never left the place, at least not in my dream. The second one was like a little story of a girl who wanted to be a DJ. In the middle of mydream there was a sculpture of Sto. Nino roaming around a room, at the corner of which was a brown coffin. 

I hate being scared specially in my sleep. I feel perfectly normal but some things are slowly consuming me.